Prophets & Rockstars

The Most Likely To Succeed

Prophets and Rockstars is the place to go for all your apocalyptic predictions and mediocre rock music.

Our Prophets

• Baba Lumpy - The Prophet with the Most Lumps
• Zara Braun - The Prophet with the Most Hair
• Jean Pierre - The Prophet with the Most French

Our Rockstars

• Rocky T - The Rockstar with the Most Hair Gel
• Jean Pierre Jr. - The Rockstar with the Most Sunglasses

Subscribe to our newsletter for daily updates on the apocalypse and the latest rockstar sightings.